I Just Wanna Eatyouallup
by AngelisIgniRelucent
Summary: "Okay, ground rules. Actually, no, there's only one – no kissing Rachel Berry! Actually, no kissing anyone that isn't me. Okay?" "Sure, Kurt, now come on. We're going to be late!" "Fashionably late." BLAINE GETS DRUNK. AGAIN. YOU'D THINK HE'D LEARN.


**Yay! Ok, this took me forever to get out ... and yes, the darling Patricia Sage prompted it again … and yeah, it was meant to be a challenge – write in the first person for once – but it just ended up being dialogue … whoops … but all you need to know is this is another Rachel Berry Train Wreck Extravaganza-style party :) … and I don't own …**

"Okay, ground rules. Actually, no, there's only one – _no kissing Rachel Berry! _Actually, no kissing anyone that isn't me. Okay?"  
>"Sure, Kurt, now come <em>on<em>. We're going to be late!"  
>"Fashionably late. And I'm nearly done – just got to sort out this bit of hair… "<br>"Let's go, let's go, let's go!"  
>"God, calm down! And <em>don't touch my hair! <em>Come on then – Finn went earlier, so it's just us."  
>"Does that mean we can make out in the car?"<br>"If you want me to crash the car, then yes. Oh don't give me that look … okay, _fine_, we can make out a little bit, but not while I'm driving!"  
>"Yay!"<p>

o-o-o

"Finn! I thought we agreed we weren't drinking!"  
>"I'm no-not!"<br>"Well what's that then?"  
>"Dude, relax, it's just orange juice."<br>"Orange juice that Puck's probably spiked with god-knows-what!"  
>"Oh … right … I wandered why it tastes funny …"<br>"Okay, so no more drinking. We've got to be able to drive this lot home! Oh god, watch out – Britt's taking her clothes off again … Finn! If Rachel catches you staring like that, she'll castrate you!"  
>"I guess … but she's over there singing at Rory, poor boy."<br>"Jesus, someone needs to take care of Santana or someone's going to get hurt … I'm looking at you, Finn."  
>"Wait, what? I don't know what to do!"<br>"Just stop her yelling and try to calm her down … just keep her away from Tina and Mercedes. Them laughing and her crying is not a good combination. Go on!"

o-o-o

"Oh, hey Blaine, are you enjoying th-"  
>"BEST PARTY EVER, WHOO!"<br>"Oookay, come on, honey, no more drinkies for you. No no, give it here. Come on, there's a good boy … whoops! Careful now, are you alright, love?"  
>"Mmmh, you smell nice. You smell like clean and boy and sweet and I just wanna eatyouallup."<br>"Whoa, Blaine. Blaine! We can't do this here, and you're _drunk_! You smell _gross_. Like sweat and alcohol. And I just want to _shower you_."  
>"Haha, <em>shower. <em>That's a funny word. I could eatyouallup in a _shower_. Haha, _shower_. That's a-"  
>"Blaine! Dude! What do you think you're doing to my baby bro? You're, like, <em>eating <em>him or something! Back off, dude!"  
>"Oh, Finn, now you made him <em>sad<em>. He's making those puppy-dog eyes of his again! Now I'm completely susceptible to any suggestion he makes, because just _look at those eyes_!"  
>"Hmm, so how's about you let me do … this … and … … <em>this-<em>"  
>"Or maybe not. Come on, Blaine, we're going to sit down over here, and I'm going to get you some water, okay?"<p>

o-o-o

"Oh my god, Tina, you're just so _funny!_"  
>"I <em>know<em>! And the thing with the _cauliflower_!"  
>"Hey, Kurt! Kurt, hey! C'mere and listen to this – it's just so <em>funny<em>!"  
>"Sure, in a second, Mercedes – I've got to get some water for Blaine …"<br>"No c'mere, _now,_"  
>"Oomph,"<br>"See? Now liste- OH MY GOD THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG!"  
>"Oh yeah – d'you remember when we did that Cheerios routine to it?"<br>"Let's go do it! CHEERIOS ASSEMBLE!"  
>"Oh my god, I can't believe that worked!"<br>"Come on, come one – you have this mike and I'll have this one … and a one, two, a one, two, three, four …"

o-o-o

"Fiiiiiiiinn? Where's Kuuuurt gone? Where iiiiiis he? Fiiiiinn? Whe- oh!"  
>"Ugh, what's your problem no- oh!"<br>"Oh my god, Finn, how can he move his hips like that? Ho- oh _god_! Is he trying to kill me? Oh, that thing with his eyes! That thing with his _butt_!"  
>"Whoa, dude – that's my bro you're talking about there. Chill out."<br>"But, _god_, Finn, _how can you stay straight when you're seeing that? _I mean, _seriously_!"  
>"Okay, you know what? I'm just going to go over there. You, um, enjoy the show …"<br>"I will, am, uhhh, yeah …"

o-o-o

"Phew! Hey, baby, did you like my-"  
>"You. Are. <em>So<em>. Damn. Hot."  
>"Oh! Wow, Blaine, thanks …"<br>"We need to go home now."  
>"Oh, why the rush? Ok, let me just-"<br>"Like, _now._"  
>"…<em>Oh.<em>"

o-o-o

"So … uh … what happened to … getting home …"  
>"The car's –uh– fine …"<br>"I suppose it … suits your purposes pretty … well …"  
>"Okay, less talking … and more of … <em>oh <em>… more of _that_!"

**So yeah, here's the full prompt: Rachel has another 'Rachel berry party train wreck extravaganza', but this time it's with established Klaine and all that goodness. The furt brotherhood is once again the DDs and not drinking at all, but everyone else is kind of going crazy...again. Maybe Finn and Kurt could talk about the different drunk stereotypes that their friends are, touching on Blaine being a horny drunk and maybe Blaine coming over and liking how Kurt smells or something and Finn being brotherly and protective. (for the record, I adore Mercedes and Tina when they are drunk. It is adorable.) There is, of course, a karaoke machine going on and Mercedes grabs Kurt for a duet (because who doesn't love when they sing together? And they barely spend time together anymore). They sing '4 Minutes' (possibly with the ex-cheerios of the group or something) and Blaine...appreciates Kurt's (admittedly sexy) performance... ;) You can go anywhere from there...  
>Thoughts?<br>xx**


End file.
